Wednesday, May 16, 2007

How can I do the best for my child?

After some trial and error (I've reared my own, and some grandkids) I have learned a few things that work. And some that don't.

Treat your children as intelligent people. They may not understand all the terms you would use with an adult, so simplify things to a point that they can understand, but answer their questions truthfully to the best of your ability. If there's something you're not sure of, admit it: sometimes they'll suggest an explanation that makes sense within the framework of their own understanding. Listen to what they tell you, you will learn from it!

Join them in their world. When they invite you into their games, participate as much as you are able. Let them lead as much as they want, and take the lead when they let you. (If!).

Be dependable. When you promise to do something, do it. If you promise to do it on a particular day, or at a particular time, do it. Of course there will be times when you can't keep that promise, Explain why you can't keep the promise, but do all you can to keep as much of the promise as possible. If you have to do what you promised at a later time, make that an agreement with your child. If you have to do something different with your child instead, make that an agreement with your child.

Show your child that you love them. Hug them. Make time to play with them. Read to them. Sing to them. Listen when they want to talk to you. Yes, parents are always busy, but even if you cannot stop what you are doing, spare a little of your attention for them. Don't try to buy your child's affection. Toys, sweets and treats will get you a reputation as an easy touch, but you won't have the depth of relationship with your child that will endure for years, through good times and bad. And more importantly, your child will eventually realize that they are missing something vital.